Keeping All The Balls In The Air
When you love life, it is full!
However, life is also a juggling act at the best of times lol. It's a constant challenge to: a) find a balance and flow between your daily, weekly/monthly commitments/desires, plus, b) always and simultaneously seek out enough time to keep your mind right. Prioritizing is hard.
Pushing your limits = growth, but knowing your limits and testing them takes never-ending effort. Sometimes you feel like you're winning, and sometimes you feel overwhelmed.
When you throw a few extra balls into your "normal" juggling act, you can expect to need a bit of time learning how to manage the new arrangement and adjust to a new normal, despite an inner tendency to fall back into old, easier habits. Giving up should not be an option.
I find that fighting the urge to stay in my comfort zone can also create a bit of mental chaos, which translates into loss of control in my eating choices lol.
Lately, I've been on the run more than normal. I've been attempting to add a few extra things into my life, including taking courses, more utilization of Instagram, working on my website, socializing, prepping for a coffee-bar-building project, trying out a yoga class, doing ankle exercises (that kinesiologist Jeff gave me before Christmas to improve my balance), learning to use the gym/weightroom machines, aquasize class, mother-daughter outings, participating in the Wecan Food Basket program, being part of a local food-based pilot-project, miscellaneous hobby/plant shopping.... combined with squeezing in a couple of other extra semi-regular things like Tractor Talk, Fit For Life sessions at the Spirit Center (only made it there once), and personal maintenance such as hair coloring and acrylic nails.
When you upset the status quo, the natural order is that something's got to give lol. For me, lately, it's been that I've missed my liesurely morning coffee time when I catch up on food journaling, jot down my thoughts, and turn my ideas into blogs.
My food journaling went out the window for a few days, and my eating (though it usually starts off good) has been become rather uncontrolled by evening. Everyone knows that if you don't measure and write it down, it never happened, right? 🤣😂 You can rest assured that the scale knows it happened, though.
I haven't had time to sit down and blog (which organizes my thoughts, inspires me, and prioritizes my plans). My housekeeping has suffered, reflecting the messiness I've also felt in my mind.
However, yesterday and today, I've stayed home and am getting a handle on everything again. I'm not beating myself up. Sometimes, you just need to get things out of your system, reset, refocus, and start again.
I have good news, too!! 😜All of the delicious Atkins snack and protein bars and a whole bag of marshmallow hearts are gone now. 🤣😂
I really went on a food bender yesterday and ate almost whatever I felt like. I even put butter on my corn and potatoes 😳 Over the past few days, I lost my moderation/restraint, and stability. I made myself feel sick a few times, too.
It's shocking to me how easily one can lose control and how precarious mental health is, but at the same time, with mindfullness, I'm aware of when and why it starts happening, and know what I need to do to get my stability back.
I'm planning to get it back today. 💪
While I've been enjoying being out and about so much, socializing, shopping, and trying new experiences, I think I've been suffering from over-stimulation haha. I've accidentally let myself get tired and overwhelmed with a steadily messier house over the past week. That has made me feel out of control.
By finally staying home yesterday, I made good headway reclaiming my cluttered kitchen and some other rooms. I think I need a few quieter home days to "re-center my thoughts," take time to seek inspirational input, and get back on track with balance/moderation and restraint.
I need to re-organize, review my "priorities lists," and get back to feeling in control again!
Now that I've had this little, unplanned holiday from food management/making smart choices, I think the key to recovery is, as usual, all in the attitude. I'm grateful that I didn't gain any more than I did (frankly, I expected much worse!), I'm grateful that I can start over every single morning and do better, and I'm grateful that occasionally eating unhealthily isn't the end of the world. I can enjoy unhealthy foods once in a while as long as it isn't a habit - it's the exception!
Today, I'm back on track.
195.0 lbs today