• Janis Schole

Overcoming the Obstacle of Frustration

Heather and I have both been frustrated with ourselves lately. We report our weight to each other every morning, and share encouraging words for both our benefits.

Today, mine were: "Don't panic. It could be so much worse.

I weigh 196.8 lbs today, so not a significant loss from yesterday (0.2), but I'll take it lol. I have not been eating the way I know I should. Although I want to get back to not eating after supper (which is my weakest time of day), maybe I have to make a commitment to only having low-calorie things like cottage cheese, tuna, cauliflower, asparagus, apples or jello before bed. If I start with that, I'm sure it will be an excellent start. It's a compromise. I need to plan ahead to have a list those foods available to pick from.

Perhaps it will also help to put this in perspective if we remind ourselves what number we were at last year at this time.

On Jan. 2, 2019, I was 242.2, so that reminds me that overall, I'm still doing well. This is just a temporary blip, as long as I don't give up. It is very possible to get back on track, it just takes persistent effort and the right attitude.

I need to focus on being proud and remind myself that what seemed impossible at one time wasn't.

We will both get this turned around. We mustn't give up and lose faith in our ability to get through this rough patch.

Being too harsh with myself was the reason I didn't get anywhere for decades. I learned I have to love myself enough to accept imperfection and adjust my goals down so small that they were achievable, building momentum from there. As my mental health improved, my inner strength grew as well. It was also a case of kind of switching my brain from pessimism to optimism because my goals were adjusted to be more realistic.

It was also using reverse psychology, in a way, because when I felt hopeless about losing weight, I changed my goal to simply stop gaining, and the outcome ended up being losing weight with steadily increased momentum.

Finding the tiniest ways to give ourselves credit for success is powerful. The minute we change our perspective so we can see there are things to feel proud of, it sets us up to multiply the pride. The more we feel good about ourselves, the more strength we have to continue making small changes to be proud of.

Sometimes, I think that the battle that goes on in our head is all relative. The more badly we wish we could lose weight, the more we self-loath, the worse we feel, and the more we eat and gain. However, when we give ourselves permission to feel good about tiny accomplishments, like only eating 4 cookies instead of the 8 that we wanted, only gaining 1.2 lbs instead of 3, the more positive we can be. Recognizing that factors beyond our control (weather, work, other people) are not currently ideal, helps us see that we do have at least SOME power over ourselves, even if we don't over other things.

There's a razor's edge between excuse-making and giving ourselves some room to simply be real, imperfect people who are doing the best we can in the current circumstances. We have to look at the big picture - not let the trees stop us from seeing the forest.

Have we made some positive habit changes in the past year? Have we lost any weight? Have we felt better about ourselves? Has our health improved? Even if the answer to all of those questions was no, IS IT EVER TOO LATE? NOOOOOOO!!!

Once we start being mindful (aware) of our thought patterns, FAIR and HONEST with ourselves "about our thoughts" and set some REALISTIC goals, we can transform our behaviour - but it's never going to be perfect, because WE ARE NOT AND NEVER WILL BE PERFECT.

If we are in a funk right now, we must calm ourselves that this is temporary. Let's not panic and fall deeper into the rut. We can always climb back out.

I'm going to keep reminding myself of how far I've come, continue thinking about all the little things I'm proud of, seek out inspiration from outside sources, and read more to educate myself, and find motivating ideas.

Instead of sitting around feeling sorry for myself, I'm trying to make progress on my long list of household and blogging tasks, so I can feel good about accomplishing things. It is taking my mind off of food and feeling sorry for myself, replacing negative feelings with good."

I hope my long spiel helped you. It certainly helped me, as I often find when I "think out loud" in my morning communications with Heather. Having her to share with, be accountable to, and know she's listening makes it easier for me to think positive and have more organized thoughts.

Today, we're both working on finding small ways to change the narrative in our heads from negative to positive. That often starts with small positive changes!

Have a good day!!! I'm planning to do the same!

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